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Kelowna News

JONESIE: No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus

Image Credit: PEXELS
December 22, 2023 - 12:00 PM

You’ve been fed a lie your entire life, just like the rest of us.

The advertising industry has bombarded you with messages from the day you were born to distort your reality. Governments around the world including Canada and the United States are in on it. Even NORAD has gotten involved.

It calls on me to expose this manipulation, these lies. But they will fall on deaf ears. Mine is but one signal bobbing on an ocean of deceit from Coca-Cola, Walmart, Amazon and their ilk. They will deny the truth. That’s the first rule of exposing a conspiracy, right?

FOLLOW THE MONEY.

In an era of conspiracies I'm here to let you in on the biggest one of all.

No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus.

Marshall Jones, managing editor
Marshall Jones, managing editor

Oh sure, they’ll tell you satellites are set up to track him on Christmas Eve. You’ve seen him in the Mall and with polar bears on TV and in countless pictures and movies. He might even be sitting on top of your Christmas tree at this very moment.

That doesn’t make him real.

I submit that the person you think was Santa Claus bringing Christmas spirit and presents and good food was actually your family. Your friends.

And you.

All the feelings attached to memories of Christmas past wasn’t the work of some fictitious fat man, the anticipation, delight, laughter, stories, songs all came from sharing and receiving love.

It was all borne of your efforts to bring some joy, some peace and some light to those around you.

I must apologize for my role. I, too, have lied to you in the past. I have taken photos of fat men in red suits and white beards and I wrote right there in the cutline: This man is Santa Claus. I knew that he wasn’t. But I said it anyway.

I’m coming clean now because of the damage it has done. It started as innocent, harmless little stories. Fibs.

It’s the only explanation for the society we’ve created, one where people walk around every day appearing and acting normal, but inside they are confused by this and other fantasies that rule their lives.

They’d rather consult psychics than therapists. They blame their feelings on zodiac signs instead of seeking medication. They use crystals to heal themselves instead of doctors. They’d rather listen to Joe Rogan than National Institutes of Health. They think an orange man is going to help them.

They’ve been taught to be satisfied with answers made up in their heads for how things work in a very complicated world. And I fear it could lead to real disaster.

This First Lie of Santa Claus leads to natural distrust. People know they are being lied to and if they’ll lie about Santa Claus, they can lie about anything. Like condensation trails from airplanes. Or 9/11. Or Sandy Hook. Climate change. Even Ogopogo.

Enough is enough. It must be said.

Santa is nothing more than a symbol for a winter solstice holiday and tradition that coincides with many of the major religious holidays around the world.

Go ahead, keep him around, enjoy the idea with the kids, but you must always know: He’s fiction.

And we should all be content with that.

Merry Christmas everybody.

— Marshall Jones is the Managing Editor of iNFOnews.ca


We welcome your comments and opinions on our stories but play nice. We won't censor or delete comments unless they contain off-topic statements or links, unnecessary vulgarity, false facts, spam or obviously fake profiles. If you have any concerns about what you see in comments, email the editor.

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